Friday, October 28, 2011

I feel strong,

I'm sitting here forcing myself to drink a bottle of water, Authority Zero is blasting through my speakers, Punk music makes me happy.
Kinda early in the day for me to blog, but I have nothing else to do.

I've been really agitated lately. Probably due to my lack of food. Started taking vitamins, As much as I hate them they will help me get some much needed protein and other essentials I am missing out on.

Picture of me, Ignore my horrid looking face, I have like no make up on.

I know I have a LONG way to go before I look how I want to look,
But I have lost about 15 pounds, Maybe I will make a before and after picture?

Well, I will blog later. Thank you everyone for following me<3
Think Skinnny<3<3<3

Thursday, October 27, 2011

5 pounds down, who knows how many more to go.

I lost 5 pounds, feels pretty damn good. So there for gave motive to only eat 290 calories today.

Sadly my sister took me to the movies and bought CANDY, god it had been soooo long Since i have eaten candy.. So I caved and ate some ughhhhh, How I regret it now, I  don't even wanna know the calories in "dots" most of you are probably like "what the fuck are dots?!" There my favorite candy in the world, There like gum drops but without the sugar on the outside. yumm(: 

Well i'm super tired, gonna cuddle with my puppy and fall asleep and like most nights dream of being skinny<3

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Let my hunger pains cradle me to sleep,

I have been spending my days ALL fucking alone lately. While my sister is at work and at her boyfriends house. I waited all day long for her to get home cause i have been so god damn lonely, the moment she walks in she says " turn off my light I'm going to bed" :( Okay I will go sit in my dark room and let my hunger pain comfort me. She wanted me to move back home cause she missed me so much, cause she can't live without me, but she is gone all day long and then talks about going to move in with her boyfriend within the next couple months!!!!!

Now here I am, no job there fore no gas money to go anywhere, All alone in the dirty, hot city of Vegas. :'(

Well I will let you all return to your interesting lifes, While I go do 150 jumping jacks, 70 sit ups, 50 squats and 50 leg lifts. Oh what funn.

Stay Skinny,  <3

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

oh god, It's almost HALOWEEN

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Halloween, but sadly I'm not 12 anymore, I can't dress up as a zombie or Freddy Kruger. haa

I'm 17 and female, so that means dressing up as uhh hmm how do I make this blog appropriate, Well lets just say the less clothing the better

So My sister, bless her heart bought me some stuff from the haloween store,
A pink and black, very small skirt
Black knee highs with pink X's going up them and a big pink bow at the top of them and Then a white lace tanktop.

Not something a even slightly fat person could pull off, So there fore I MUST fast for the next how many ever days are left till Halloween!

My calorie intake for today has not been good, 
  1 cup of corn flakes with a cup of soymilk - 200 Calories
  Chicken snack wrap from Mcdolads - 330
Oh dear god, 550 calories :'( 
Now  you may be wondering, Why the fuck did you eat something from McDonalds!! 
Well I was with my dad, didn't want to make him suspicious so I ate it.
Cried afterwards. UGH

Venting, Not that anyone wants to hear it!

Okay so you wanna know what annoys the living hell out of me!!!

"So I went anorexic for a week, It wass sooo easy"


Hate to be the barrer of bad news, but you do NOT go anorexic for a week and then go back to normal, You are not anorexic if you do that, Just Saying. <--- I hate when people say that "just saying" but I  felt like being a bitch so I just said it!!

What I would give to be normal, to not think about calories ALL day long, To eat normally. To not cry every time I eat something that has 200 calories in it. To not do 100 sit ups every time I go over 400 calories a day. :( To not stay up till 5 am just so I will sleep all day the next day,

Time sleeping=Time not eating!

I'm sorry. For anyone who i just offend. Sorry to those people who will not view my blog anymore, cause I'm a bitch. But oh Fucking Well!!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Family that eats together, Gets fat together.

It's SO hard to eat healthy living in this house.

Everything revolves around food, holidays, birthdays, accomplishments, Everyday life.
I went through my cupboards tonight, very depressing I tell you. Here are a FEW of the things my cupboards consist of:
Cup o' noodles,
Top a Ramon,
Cookies, tons of cookies,
Pop tarts,
All of these I love!!

Are you ready for my freezer??
Toaster strudels,
4 things of Ice cream
Hot pockets
Sausage and cheese croissants
And So much more!!

The few things that are mine, that I eat?
Meso Soup, Thank god for this!! 20 - 35 Calories per soup(:
Sugar free, Fat free Fudge bars- 35 calories each, 0 fat
Diet Dr. Pepper.
100 calorie snack pack brownie bites!
WATER, WATER, WATER - 0 calories :D

Slackerr I am

I wish I was stronger, I hate eating.

Today I didn't feel skinny AT ALL. I felt so fat! Yesterday I went to the this motorcycle races with my family, Got tons of complements on how skinny I was, Though every time I caught a view of myself in a passing reflection all I could see was a fat insecure girl.Why can't I at least be a fat confident  girl.

Did a 100 jumping jacks, 70 sit ups, 40 leg lefts and 30 squats tonight (Slackerr I am)

I ate badly, So I should have done more.

On the inside she dying,

I cried when I listened to this, ohh Ana what a bitch you are.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Did you forget I was even alive?

Did about a 1000 sit ups after seeing the newly posted pictures of my ex and his SKINNY new girlfriend. Hmm Wonderful.

Sometimes I wish I could jusst be normal, just eat food without obsessing about how many calories are in it, or crying afterwards because of what I think its gonna do to my body. Everyone is telling me "how great I look", or how much weight i am loosing, Even the scale agrees with them, but I don't. All I see when I look in the mirror, is FAT. Oh well I would be a fat nothing with out Ana.

Probably wondering what I ate today?
 Deit Dr. pepper: 0 Calories
Mandrin orange: 60 calories
Meso soup: 30 Calories
Half of a fanta pop: 100 Calories

Total: 190 Calories.

Stupid food. I fucking hate it,

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I HATE my fat ass body :(

Today, Well i failed miserably.

What I ate today:
Bowl of life ceral, with soy milk and Banana - 280 calories.
A Pack of 100 calorie brownie bites - 100 Calories
2 cans of Diet Dr. pepper - 0 Calories
8 pieces of cooked asparagus -  30 Calories.
Like 10 pickles - 0 Calories.

Total: 410 Calories!!!!!

I'm gonna fast tomorrow, I have no other choice.

Give Me strength to be Skinny<3<3

Love, Beautiful Bones<3

My workout for everynight, If not twice a day!

100 jumping jacks
90 crunches
80 squats
70 leg lifts
60 jumping jacks
50 crunches
40 squats
30 leg lifts
20 jumping jacks

I want to  be thin, thin, thin, I WANT TO BE THIN<3

Wake up and take control of your life!

Always been a fan of pennywise, this song is perfection inspiration!

Some people call Ana a disease, I call it taking control of my life
Making myself perfect<3

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Ana Songs?

Yepp! Need some Inspiration, or some music to work out to?

Here ya go(:

  • 4st 7lb - Manic Street Preachers
  • Absence of Fear - Jewel
  • Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
  • All Around Me - Flyleaf
  • All Around the World - Oasis
  • All Mixed Up - Red House Painters
  • Ana's Song - Silverchair
  • Angel - Sarah Mclachlan
  • Anorexic Beauty - Pulp
  • Away From Me - Evanescence
  • Bandages - Hot Hot Heat
  • Barcelona - Jewel
  • Battlestar Anorexia - Schoolyard Heroes
  • Be Like That - Three Doors Down
  • Beautiful - Bethany Dillon
  • Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
  • Beautiful - Joydrop
  • Beautiful Disaster - 311
  • Beautiful Disgrace - Orgy
  • Big Isn't Beautiful - King Andora
  • Binge & Purge - Lunachicks
  • Bionic Eye - Liz Phair
  • Bleed Like Me - Garbage
  • Break Away - Kelly Clarkson
  • Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick
  • Breathe Me - Sia
  • Breathe Today - Flyleaf
  • Bring on the Rain - Jo Dee Messina
  • Broken - Lindsey Haun
  • Built This Way - Samantha Ronson
  • Bulimia Blowjob - Cradle of Thorns
  • Bulimic Beats - Catatonia
  • Bulimia Nervosa - David Desrosiers
  • Calm Under the Waves - Maria Mena
  • Cause & Effect - Maria Mena
  • Choose Life - Trainspotting Soundtrack
  • Christine - Siouxsie & The Banshees
  • Concrete Angel - Martina McBride
  • Courage - Superchick
  • Crawling - Linkin Park
  • Crawling in the Dark - Hoobastank
  • Creep - Radiohead
  • Criminal - Fiona Apple
  • Dancing Nancies- Dave Matthews Band
  • Distant Voices - Bush
  • Don't Let Me Get Me - P!NK
  • Ex- Sugar Coma
  • Eyesore - Maria Mena
  • Fade - Stained
  • Fast as You Can - Fiona Apple
  • Fat Boy - Jewel
  • Feed Me - Juliana Hatfield
  • Free - Maria Mena
  • From 100,000 Fireflies - Magnetic Fields
  • Get Up - Superchick
  • Here with Me - Dido
  • Hide You - Kosheen
  • Higher - Creed
  • Hold On - Sarah McLachlan
  • Holy - Golden Palominos
  • Honestly Okay - Dido
  • How's It Going to Be - Third Eye Blind
  • Hunger Strike - Temple of the Dog
  • Hush Hush Hush - Paula Cole
  • I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance
  • I'm Ready, I Am - The Format
  • I'm So Sick - Flyleaf
  • If You Could Only See - Tonic
  • In Hiding - Pearl Jam
  • Independence Day - Ani DiFranco
  • Inside Out - Eve 6
  • Internal Dialogue - Maria Mena
  • It's My Life - Bon Jovi
  • Jenny, You're Barely Alive - Rilo Kiley
  • Judy's Staring at the Sun - Catherine Wheel
  • Jukebox - Ani DiFranco
  • Just A Little Bit - Maria Mena
  • Just Like A Pill - P!NK
  • Just Wait - Blues Traveler
  • Ladylike - Marisa Lauren
  • Lemons - Katy Rose
  • Let it Out - Starrfadu
  • Light of Some Kind - Ani DiFranco
  • Little Miss S. - Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
  • Long Time Coming - Maria Mena
  • Lucy at the Gym - Jill Sobule
  • Magic's in the Makeup - No Doubt
  • Mama Mia - ABBA
  • Me Against the World -- Simple Plan
  • Miles from Nowhere - Cat Stevens
  • Miss Otis Regrets - Bette Midler
  • My Beloved Monster - Eels
  • My Lullaby - Maria Mena
  • My Sacrifice - Creed
  • Never Good Enough - Rachel Ferguson
  • Nothing Else Matter - Metallica
  • Obsession - Animotion
  • On the Bound - Fiona Apple
  • Outside - Stained
  • Outside Looking In - Jordan Pruitt
  • Pain -Three Days Grace
  • Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
  • Perfect -Alanis Morissette
  • Perfect - Flyleaf
  • Plump - Hole
  • Power-Trip Ballad - Maria Mena
  • Praise You -Fat Boy Slim
  • Pressure - Paramore
  • Pressure - Stained
  • Pure - Superchick
  • Quisimodo - Lifehouse
  • Rainy Days & Monday - The Carpenters
  • Satellites - September
  • Scars & Stitches - Guster
  • Second Day - Kendall Payne
  • See These Bones - Nada Surf
  • Self- Fulfilling Prophecy - Maria Mena
  • Semi Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
  • Shadow - Maria Mena
  • She's Falling Apart - Lisa Loeb
  • Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
  • Skinny - Filter
  • Skinny White Thing - Shampoo
  • Skin & Bones- Marianas Tranch
  • Slow Like Honey - Fiona Apple
  • So Damn Beautiful - Poloroid
  • So Rich, So Pretty - Mickey Avalon
  • Someone I Once Knew - Dead Celebrity Status
  • Solitude - Evanescence
  • Sometimes - Ash
  • Sometimes Wanna Die - Joydrop
  • Sophie - Eleanor McEvoy
  • Stand in the Rain - Superchick
  • Stigmatized - The Calling
  • Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
  • Superman - Five for Fighting
  • Superman's Dead - Our Lady of Peace
  • Supermodel - Jill Sobule
  • Supermodel - Ru Paul
  • Sweetest Perfection - Depeche Mode
  • Take You With Me - Maria Mena
  • That Day - Natalie Imbruglia
  • The First Taste - Fiona Apple
  • The Last Word - M.C. Carpenter
  • The Middle - Jimmy Eat World
  • The Other Side of the World - KT Tunstall
  • The Voice Within - Christina Aguilera
  • There She Goes - Sixpence None The Richer
  • Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne
  • Tiny Dancer - Elton John
  • Tonight & the Rest of My Life - Nina Gordon
  • Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
  • Tunic - Sonic Youth
  • Turn the Page - Metallica
  • Twilight - Vanessa Carlton
  • Ugly - Smashing Pumpkins
  • Unpretty - TLC
  • Until it Sleeps - Metallica
  • Up, Up, Up - Rose Falcon
  • Wake Up - Pennywise
  • Wasted - Marisa Lauren
  • What's Good for Me - Lucy Woodward
  • Why Walk When You Can Fly - M.C. Carpenter
  • Wish You Were Here - Incubus
  • Women Lose Weight - Morcheeba
  • World Leader Pretend - R.E.M.
  • You Gotta Be - Des'ree
  • You Make Me Feel Like a Whore - Everclear
  • Your Glasses - Maria Mena
Let me know your favorite?

I WILL prove them Wrong.

Well, My first day of fasting went okay... i guess

What I ate today:
Strawberry Smoothie: 210 Calories. 0 from fat
Redbull Energy Drink: 140 Calories. 0 from fat

Total Calories: 350 Calories.
:/ Wish I could have eaten nothing, but no worries I'm drinking lots of water (:

Everyone is telling me I won't loose any weight. Can't wait to prove them wrong!!

Getting lots of sleep too, You burn 70 calories every hour you sleep! Awesome YES!! I love to sleep,

Doing around 200 crunches a night.

Well, goodnight for now, possibly post more thinspire pictures tonight.

Think Skinny, <3

Love, Beautiful Bones<3<3


New Life.

I want a new life, well preferably a new body.

Food is the grossest most horrible thing thing on the entire planet.

"Nothing taste as good as skinny feels" - Kate Moss

Today I start my fast, Going to be my longest one ever!

I'm excited, but also very nervous that i won't be able to go for as long as i want, 2 weeks.To some that seems a very short time, but for me its a pretty decent amount of time!

Please give me strength to complete this! <3

Love, Beautiful bones.