Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I know I can do this.

Hello long lost Bloggers.
Why am I losing touch with this blog.
It makes me so sad.
I have been so fucking busy it's so hard to keep up on it.
but I have to, I love it to much to let it go.
Just got back from my run,
Felt great.

Yesterday was my birthday.
I ate horribly.
I felt like I deserved it, like since I wasn't gettin any presents I deserved to eat?
Stupid i know.
Well for breakfeat I had - 1 large pancake with surup and butter
2 peices of turkey bacon 
And a Egg.
Then I had A large peice of papa johns Hawain pizza
And A HUGE piece of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.
Total: I am guessing a 1000 calories.
I went for a 6 mile walk after that
So 600 calories burned.
Still stretched my stupid stomach out.

Depise my horrible binge I haven't gained any weight.
I fasted all day today and went for a mile run.
5 More pounds in 8 days.
Think I can do it?
I know I can.

Thinspo Anyone ? (:

Stay Skinny,
Love you ladiess<3

Thursday, November 24, 2011


I haven't blogged for 6 days.

I'm on day 10 of the loose 15 pounds in 24 days.
S0 14 days left  and 10 pounds to go.
Not looking promising.
Today is thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm the only one who celebrates this awful holiday?

I haven't aten at all today.
And yesterday I only had
a bowl of ceral : 150
A peice of chicken: 100
And a Dr. Pepper 10 : 10
So 260 calories
but thats no reason to eat the way I am going to tonight.
On the menu for thanksgiving is:
Turkey + The stuffing
Mashed Potato's + the gravy
Deviled Eggs.
Sweet potato Casserole.
Pumpkin Bread
Chedder, bacon pinwheels.
Taco 7 layer Dip
Cherry pie
Pumpkin Pie
Pecan Pie
And Bannana Cream Pie.
Total : like 12 Billion Calories.
Thinking about maybe Purging afterwards.
I have only Purged twice.
Horrible experiences, I HATE purging.

On Lighter news its my birthday in three days.
Getting Holiday Havoc Tickets and Eybrow piercing.
A new longboard and An Ipod touch.
Yes I know all my gifts before hand (:
If your wondering what holiday Havoc is,,,
It's the Band Rise against, A day to remember and Middle Class Rut.
MY three favorite bands in one place, I'm so fucking exciteD

After today I am gonna try a three day Liquid fast,
If you ever read my blogg you know i SUCK at fasting.
SO I guess We will see how this goes.
I have been Volunteering at the animal Shelter a lot lately.
I love it, Hoping to pick up a actual paying job there.
So Walking the dogs around For 3 - 4 hours defiantly burns some calories. 

You guys have been bugging me crazy to see pictures of myself so
Here ya go,.

 Yes i realize I'm a Punk (;
Not attractive either but oh well.

Have a skinny Thanksgiving<3
Love you All!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Skin and Bones (:

Ahh, I haven't felt this good in a longgg time,
Days, weeks or maybe even months?
I feel lighter, Skinnier, prettier.
Not saying this is going to last a long time, it never does.
But what the hell! 

My "loose 15 pounds in 24 days" is I feel going well.
I have literally not been eating at all.
Day 1 - 150 calorie skinny cow ice cream & 35 calorie fruit bar!!
Day 2 - 300 calorie dinner.
Day 3 - 90 Calorie Special K bar, 20 calorie red bull and 150 calorie bowl of cereal.
Total for 3 days so far? 
745 Calories, Damnnn
Thats pretty good for 3 days.

Most people consume that in a day!
My biggest motivation?
These size 3 jeans that I want so badly to fit into
They almost fit. Whoo Hoo!
I haven't weighed myself since i started this "loose 15 pounds thing"
Not going to till day 10!

Oh i wanted to tell you guys if you already don't know,
About Skinny Cow Ice Cream!!!
Fucking A, This stuff tastes like it has a 1000 calories in it.
But A mint chocolate chip ice cream drum stick has only 150 calories in it!!
I know that sounds like a lot, but if you know anything about ice cream it isn't..
If you can find it, BUY IT (:
Anyways, Beyond that Amazing looking picture up there^

I met a new friend, Well maybe more then a friend? (:
We will call him C, "Black C" as i call him for obvious reasons,(:
He is beautiful, I have some strange obsession with black males.
I met him while on one of my walks, he stopped and begged me to talk to him.
Felt a little strange getting into a strangers car, on the side of the road.
I know what your thinking, "how dangerous!!!"
But considering it was a 2011 dodge charger, I felt safe. HA
As he talked to me, (showering me with complements)
He said "ohh I love a girl with THICK thighs.
Are you fucking serious?
You had to use the word THICK.
I guess 50 of my 130 pounds must be in my THICK thighs.
You guys know my obsession with little tiny legs.
Here I am oblivious to my thick O' Thighs.
When I get down to 100 pounds i guarantee they won't be thick anymore (:
ohh wow, just realized how obsessive that must sound.

Hmmm, Beyond C telling me that, he is Superrrr nice, and sexyyyy
Oh did i mention he's a drug dealer. 
hahahaha, oh wow.
Yepp, A drug dealer.
Mostly Weed, but also Crack.
Ah, Crack so bad typed out.
Why is that?
Probably cause it is bad, right??
Hmm. Crack Cocaine.
I haven't very experience with this drug, considering I'm 17.
I know, It's bad bad bad. 
But has any of you skinny bloggers had any contact with this drug?
I have never done it, i have seen it, but never got offered to smoke any.
Weed on the other had, I LUBB it(:
Have been laying low with it since i am job hunting, they usually drug test before giving you the job.
God that would be embarrassing, " sorry we can't give you this job, we found pot in your system"

Jeezz, Whata long post, 
Sorry for my language just didn't feel like censoring my post tonight.
Comments are a must, (:
Gonna go find some new thinspo, and read all your beautiful blogs!
love you girlss<3

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ready To Fall

Oh my lovely bloggers, I have not blogged for like 4 days!
That is horrible, When I blog it keeps me focused, keeps me inspired.
So you can guess I haven't been doing very good.
The last two days I have been binging.
Well I don't know if you could call it that considering I rarely go above 600 calories a day, even when I binge
but I'm sure I have gone over that, UGH. I seriously hate eating.
It makes me feel so worthless, So out of control.
I feel like my weight is the only thing I can control.

I am so fucking determined to loose 15 more pounds in 25 days!
 So that gives me till December 10th.
I really need help with this.
I feel like I'm trying to do something thats impossible.
I gained two pounds in two days from binging.
I wish I hadn't fucked up my metabolism so badly.

Going to post my meal plan s for the next week!
I have to write it down so I will stick to it!

Stay Skinny<3<3

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Soo I have a job interview tomorrow for a coffee shop to be a barista.
I am very neverious considering I have little experience with making coffee.
And the thought of working around 400 calorie drinks all day makes me feel sick.
Iced coffee, with tons of milk and whip cream is my weakness.
Hopefully they don't let me have any free drinks, I will be screwed.
But the plus side of this is I will be on my feet all day
Better then sitting at home blogging all day.
Yesterday I quit Liquid fasting, 
I lost 3 pounds from liquid fasting for 4 days
Yesterday I ate:
A cup of stir Fry with a few tablespoons of soy sauce 40 Calories
Half of an avacodo 120 calories.
A bowl of cereal with soy almond milk 155 calories.
Total: 315
Then I walked about 6 miles 600 calories burned.

Today I have eaten half a cup of soup : 90 calories
and a cookie 100 calories??
Thats all I will eat for the rest of the day since I'm not going to walk tonight. 

Thanks for all your comments and all my followers <3<3
Stay Skinny!

As promised some Thinspo(: 


Monday, November 7, 2011

Suffocate in the mess you're making

More and More.
I want to loose more weight, it's So addicting.
Today All I ate was a 70 calorie soup.
So happy with the progress I'm making.
I tried to treat myself with some Tamato Basil Soup,
My favorite soup, but I couldn't eat it.
I just wasn't hungry.

I felt fat today, maybe that's why.

I cried a lot today.
Cause I miss my mom, my little brothers and my friends.
I moved here about a year ago,
before that I lived in my hometown for my entire life.
I had soo many friends there, friends I grew up with.
Forced to move here, I hate it,
It's hot, to many people and I feel alone all the time.
When I lived in my hometown, I rarely felt fat and I felt beautiful.
Here, I feel fat and an outcast.
I feel like I have to be as pretty as the girls here.
Very hard to live up to, I tell ya.
Whatever I guess, Everything happens for a reason?
Yeah Right.

I highly doubt you guys want to hear me whine right?
This blog is about weight, not my poor excuse for a life.

Wow, i have slowly been writing this for like 3 hours, stupid youtube distraction.

More posts to come later, And Thinspo tooo<3
Love you guys<3

So weak, but so strong.

Is it possible to be weak and strong at the same time?
I feel weak, like all I want to do is sleep
but I feel so strong because I can live on so little food.

It's been a day or two since I have blogged.
Can't really say I have been busy, just occupied  with different things I guess.
 Today my liquid fast went very well.
Only had a 90 calorie soup for breakfeast and a 120 calorie soup for dinner.
The rest was water and a diet Dr. pepper. 
And I went to the swap meet and walked ALOT.
Yesterday was a different story.

I did well throughout the whole day, 
Only a soup for breakfest until about 6.
I went to taco bell and had a crunchy taco.. 120 calories.

Then I snuck out and went to fremont street.
It was a blast, Guys were hitting on me left and right.
Had about 8 different guys ask for me number.
Then like 10 different guys beg me to come hang out with them.
hahaha, if they only knew I was only 16 almost 17.
I lie and say I'm 19, or 21 depending on the guy.

Something about wandering fremont late at night, 
Bright lights, Music blaring.
Constantly having a beer and cigarette in my hands.
Guys staring me down.

Luckily I arrived home without my dad noticing,
Then went straight to the fridge.
Walking 6 miles really made me hungry.
I had salsa with chips...175 calories
Rice pudding...70 Calories
Glass of chocalate soy milk...120 calories
And beer...200 calories.
Don't forget my crunchy taco from earlier. 
Total from yesterday.. 685
I haven't had that many calories in one day in like a month.
Walking burns about a 100 calories a mile.
So I burned 600 calories.
Still  should never eat like that again!

I just got done making blackberry Cobbler 
and Chocolate,  Chocolate Chip Cookies.
But I didn't eat any,
Except for a bite of my cobbler.
I had to at least taste it!
But I don't like cookies, So I avoided those well.

Going to continue liquid fasting for a few more days.


Love you my skinny followers<3<3
Stay Strong
Thank you tons for all your wonderful supportive comments
They keep me going!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Cause Sometime You just feel tired..

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Whenever I feel like I'm gonna give up, I listen to that song.
Gives me motivation EVERY time. 
I fuckin love you Eminem.

Today was horrible, but my fasting went very good.
I only had Soup - 70 calories
Diet Dr. Pepper - 0 Calories
Sugar Free Redbull - 35 calories

Then I walked 3 miles. 
 God it feels amazing.
Day 1 of liquid fast completed
At least 4 more days to go.

Skinny, Skinny, Skinny.
Stay strong Loves<3

Friday, November 4, 2011

I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

I'm so freakin cold, All the time to.
Oh well, I guess.
Well Added on to my 190 ice coffee is a 70 calorie rice pudding snack
and like 20 raspberries - 64 calories.
Total: 324 defiantly not good, but not horribly bad.

Tomorrow I start my liquid fast.
Only Liquids allowed:
No sugar redbulls
Diet soda
Soup,(under a 100 calories)

I'm actually kind of excited to see how much weight I loose (:
I don't know how many days I will do this for,
As many as I can.

So I went grocery shopping with my dad today, torture I tell you!
I did manage to get a few foods I can actually eat though

Cambells Soup at hand, These things are amazing at 70 calories a piece!

Soy milk, Almond and chocalate! 50% more calcium then milk and the pure almond soy milk only has 60 calories a cup!

Cozy shack rice puddings, 70 calories a piece is quite a lot, but I LOVE rice pudding!

Raspberries, Black berries,Strawberries, TONS of veggies!

Stocked up of the single serving green gaint veggies, got more flavors too! 

And more cherry Diet Dr. Pepper a course (;

So I pretty much good for a month or two!!

My stomach hurts badly, :(
Gonna get tons of blankets from my closet, cuddle up with my dog and watch a movie.
Favorite movies?
American History X
Alpha Dog
Tha Carter(documentary on Lil Wayne )
Into The Wild
Twilight Saga

Those are just the ones off the top of my dome.
If you haven't watched any of those I HIGHLY recommend you do! (:

Dream Skinny

Thursday, November 3, 2011

All in my head.

I feel so light headed and dizzy, it feels amazing.
I had an iced coffee this morning,
190 calories.
Not eating anything for the rest of the day/
Gonna bury myself in housework and job applications so I won't think of food.
But to be honest, I don't even wanna eat anything.
I got dumped this morning, i know its cause I'm fat.
I don't even care honestly, I'm better off alone.

kind of a depressing post.

I will post a more upbeat one later, I promise.

Stay Skinny my loves, 

What I DONT Eat.

Sooo, I have a lot of people asking me what I Don't eat.
I avoid this foods like the plague.

Not that I don't like this food, It's just I'm way to crazy about my calorie intake to eat it.
Meat - I rarely eat meat, unless its chicken. i loveee chicken!
Pasta, Sooo fattening yuck.
Bread - Absolutely not, Its not even good!
Eggs, Unless it just the whites.
Ice cream/Cake - I have never like cake so it easy, But i adore ice cream so its hard
I do eat low fat, no sugar fudge pops, - 35 calories a a bar (:
Non diet Soda/juice - As I mentioned in one of my other posts, i am addicted to pop (soda)
So its super hard, I drink lots of diet soda, Juice has way to many calories and sugar in it.
 Fast food - Its delicious I know, But god its SO fattening its ridiculous.
Peanut Butter/Ranch/Jelly - Peanut butter is full of protein but its horribbling fattening
I don't eat any salad dressing, Ew. And jelly is good but not worth it
Potato Chips/Crackers - The only Chips I eat are pita chips and sun chips!

So thats just kind of the basic, Yes I know its crazy and not healthy at all,
But I don't care, Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!

 I recently discovered, Green Gaint just for one, single serving vegigies!
These are amazing, The come in single servings, that microwave in 3 minutes!
With ONLY 40 calories (;
Cheese with broccoli and Cheese with cauliflower are my favorites!

Salsa is also amazing, I get fresh salsa that only has 5 calories every 2 TBS
It's technically called, pico de gallo

What is my current motivation?
Once I loose 10 more pounds I am getting a tattoo.
Some were on my side or stomach.
maybe " If you don'tstand for something, you will die for nothing"
or "After the rain, Comes the sunshine"

Tattoo Thinspo, Yayyy (:

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


UGH. My birthday is coming up at the end of the month.
My dad brought up the other day that he wanted to take me out to dinner for my birthday
I can think of nothing worse the having to sit in front of my family and eat.
 I HATE when the question what I'm doing, "why aren't you eating"
"your gonna die" , "Quit being anorexic" 
SHUT UP. I know they just do this because they care, but honestly!!
Hopefully some how I can get out of it.
I'm so tired, I took four sleeping aid pills, Hopfully I can get up in the morning.

Also another thing that I  want to add, Guys are such Pigs!
Sometimes I get so annoyed with guys hitting on me, staring or whistling.
Don'tget me wrong I like attention just as much as the next girl,
But theres a point were enough is enough.

For some reason, everytime a guy wants to hang out, I put it off or ignore him.
It's like I want to spend my life alone.

300 texts in my inbox
20 texts in my outbox,
I'm kinda a bitch.

Calories for today? :
Diet Dr. pepper - 0 calories
Chicken with cream a mushroom soup with onions and green pepper - 100 calories.
Sugar free redbull - 15 calories.
A handful of sun chips - 100 calories.
Water, Water, Water - 0 calories.
Total - 215 calories

Gonna try to fast for as long as possible,
Not going to weight myself till monday
For days without the scale, Scary.


I love looking a Thinspo, I mean who doesn't? (:

My main obsession is legs, I want little tiny legs.
All I wear is tights, leggings and knee highs.
Who doesn't like a tiny pair of legs in knee highs?!

I also like Skinny girls in layers, 
I hate wear girls that wear skimpy clothes.