Friday, December 16, 2011

I have died everyday waiting for you,

Well Hello Lovelys.

Today has been pretty good,
Only ate a plain piece of toast 70 calories.
The reason  ate so little is because yesterday I binged badly.
I am guessing around 1000 calories.

So tired of this. 
Santa, The only thing I want for Christmas is to be thin.

I haven't weighed myself for two days, not going to until I'm finished with this 10 day challenge.
Working on drinking my water for the day,
Even though its only 2 liters, I have a hard time doing that.
I don't like water at all.
Got my hour of exercise yesterday and today.
Two days down 8 more to go.

Main purpose of this post is to address the hate I have been getting lately.
Tis' the season to hate.
I have been receiving messages as well as comments.
Telling me how " I'm ruining my life, how I'm going to regret this"
Ruining what life???
Being overweight, is NOT a life.
It's a fuckin waste of a life.
I do not want to spend the few years of being young that I have left being fat.
I want to be happy, and carefree.
The only way I can do that is to be thin.
If that means enduring a few months of not "Enjoying food" then so be it.
I'm sure most of these people behind this hate 
Has never been called fat,
Has never been ridiculed to the point of suicide,
Has never hated herself so much she can't look in the mirror,
Has never been the "fat" girlfriend or the "fat"one out of a group of girls.
So before you come at me saying I promote ana, which I don't.
Before you tell me I'm ruining my life take a step back and put yourself in my shoes.
No I don't ask for your pity or your prayers, I just ask you give me respect.
I didn't make this blog to be "pro ana"
Or anything like that, I had no were else to go,
No one else to turn to.
I love giving encouragement to the girls who need it
and receiving words of kindness from people who know what I'm going through

I'm not alone in this fight anymore,
I have 100's of people going through the same thing.
I belong here, no one will take this from me, no one.

Sorry about my raging, just thought I would get that out there.
And if you don't agree with what I'm doing please un-follow me
or even block me if you'd like.
I don't need anymore negativity in my life.

Stay Skinny and Positive<3


  1. congrats on the intake! totally know how that feels...hating the reflection in the mirror so much u just want to disappear...i seriously admire how determined and strong u r! it takes strength to not take hate personally:) i know i wud have been crushed! stay strong<3

  2. Podziwiam Ciebie i Twoje zdeterminowanie. Oby tak dalej i nie daj się złamać tym, co tego nie pochwalają. Jesteśmy tu, żeby się wspierać, a inni, jeśli im to nie pasuje, niech się nie wtrącają;) . Na swoim blogu dodałam nowy post i mam nadzieję, że odpowiesz na moje pytanie:)

  3. I read that comment on your last post. She means well by it but if someone who's been skinny all there lives came up to me and said that, I would be ranting to.

    I'm sorry about the binge. Your intake for today is super low (by my 300-550 standards) so good job!

    Santa please grant all our wishes <3

  4. I know exactly how you feel..
    It always seems like no one understands.
    No matter how hard you try to be perfect and thin,
    I totally get it!