Monday, December 12, 2011

Warm, But so Cold.

Is it possible to be warm on the inside, but yet freezing cold on the outside?
I am freezing cold right now.
Lately, I am always cold. Unless a heater is blaring in my face.
Downside of not eating I guess.
Always said I would rather be cold, then hot.
Guess I got my wish.
But I feel warm on the inside, Happiness brewing?
I get to go home, (my real home 1,000 miles away) soon.
I am so happy, I could literally cry tears of joy.
I have never cried tears of joy before.
Might sound odd, But I adore the snow.
The cold.
I would much rather buddle in cute layers then
Strip of the layers to reveal whats underneath.
I love Stockings, boots, jackets and scarfs.
I hate bathing suits, short shorts and tiny tanktops.
Mostly because I look revolting in them.

Luckly my hometown is cold 9 months out of 12
Woo Hoo!
I only ate an egg and piece of toast and a sweet roll today. 290 calories.
I really want to loose 15 more pounds.
By January 2nd (when I go home)
My motivation is so strong.
I would weigh 115. 
Weird saying that number considering I came from 155.
My Ultimate goal is 110 by end of January.
45 pound weight loose in 3 months.
Nothing to brag about.
On the not so bright side of news.
My dad cried when he found out I tried to kill myself.
My sister didn't believe me, when she finally did she called me stupid and selfish.
What every depressed person wants to hear.
 My mom cried too, Bless her heart.
My mom is my hero no matter what.
I love her more then anyone in this universe.
I will post a picture of me and her when i get home (:
She is beautiful.
But the main reason I even posted tonight, 
Is to thank you guys.
Every last one of my followers.
Everyone who has took at least a second out of there busy days to think of me.
Everyone who has given me motivation or praise.
You guys ARE the reason I am still here.
If your reading this you are my hero.
I made this blog because I had no were else to go,
No one else to confess my secrets to.
You blogger's hold all my secrets and never judge me for any of them.
I am forever thankful.
If you think you have done nothing with your life you are wrong.
You have saved mine.
I leave you with some Motivational pictures.

Maybe I shall do this^^^

Could be worth trying?


  1. Your words are so beautiful, they moved me so much.
    I love reading your blog.
    I love being cold too :) right now I'm under a sheet, two doonas and seven blankets. Literally. I love rugging up.
    I am so proud and envious of your progress! It's amazing.
    Your parents sound lovely, I wish I could say the same about your sister :/
    Darling, you are so so so so so so welcome. Thank YOU for writing the posts you do and for leaving those lovely comments.
    Love Anafly

  2. I'm so glad that you're now motivated. Sure beats being depressed all day.

    I'm glad that you're going back to your family. They must've been heartbroken. But I'm not going to lie, your sister had no right to say that. She doesn't no any of the shit you're going through.

    I hope everything goes well with the move and weight loss. You can do it girl!

  3. Motivation is a saviour :) I'm glad your with family now, they can look after you and make you feel loved, your sister was out of order saying that though =/ Hope your ok now xx